Emotional intelligence (E.I.)
Emotional intelligence (otherwise known as emotional quotient or EQ) is the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict.
Emotional intelligence (EI) refers to the ability to perceive, control, and evaluate emotions. Some researchers suggest that emotional intelligence can be learned and strengthened, while others claim it's an inborn characteristic.
The ability to express and control emotions is essential, but so is the ability to understand, interpret, and respond to the emotions of others. Imagine a world in which you could not understand when a friend was feeling sad or when a co-worker was angry. Psychologists refer to this ability as emotional intelligence, and some experts even suggest that it can be more important than IQ in your overall success in life.
"Anyone can become angry—that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way—that is not easy."
Emotional intelligence involves four major skills:
(1).The ability to perceive emotions.
(2).The ability to reason with emotions.
(3).The ability to understand emotions.
(4).The ability to manage emotions.
Emotional intelligence is commonly defined by four attributes:
(1).Self-management – You’re able to control impulsive feelings and behaviors, manage your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances.
(2).Self-awareness – You recognize your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behavior. You know your strengths and weaknesses, and have self-confidence.
(3).Social awareness – You have empathy. You can understand the emotions, needs, and concerns of other people, pick up on emotional cues, feel comfortable socially, and recognize the power dynamics in a group or organization.
(4).Relationship management – You know how to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence others, work well in a team, and manage conflict.
Why is emotional intelligence so important?
As we know, it’s not the smartest people who are the most successful or the most fulfilled in life. You probably know people who are academically brilliant and yet are socially inept and unsuccessful at work or in their personal relationships. Intellectual ability or your intelligence quotient (IQ) isn’t enough on its own to achieve success in life. Yes, your IQ can help you get into college, but it’s your EQ that will help you manage the stress and emotions when facing your final exams. IQ and EQ exist in tandem and are most effective when they build off one another.
Emotional intelligence affects:
Your performance at school or work. High emotional intelligence can help you navigate the social complexities of the workplace, lead and motivate others, and excel in your career. In fact, when it comes to gauging important job candidates, many companies now rate emotional intelligence as important as technical ability and employ EQ testing before hiring.
(1).Your physical health. If you’re unable to manage your emotions, you are probably not managing your stress either. This can lead to serious health problems. Uncontrolled stress raises blood pressure, suppresses the immune system, increases the risk of heart attacks and strokes, contributes to infertility, and speeds up the aging process. The first step to improving emotional intelligence is to learn how to manage stress.
(2).Your mental health. Uncontrolled emotions and stress can also impact your mental health, making you vulnerable to anxiety and depression. If you are unable to understand, get comfortable with, or manage your emotions, you’ll also struggle to form strong relationships. This in turn can leave you feeling lonely and isolated and further exacerbate any mental health problems.
(3).Your relationships. By understanding your emotions and how to control them, you’re better able to express how you feel and understand how others are feeling. This allows you to communicate more effectively and forge stronger relationships, both at work and in your personal life.
(4).Your social intelligence. Being in tune with your emotions serves a social purpose, connecting you to other people and the world around you. Social intelligence enables you to recognize friend from foe, measure another person’s interest in you, reduce stress, balance your nervous system through social communication, and feel loved and happy.
How to increase EQ?
(1).Self-management
(2).Self-awareness
(3).Social awareness
(4).Relationship management
Habits of Emotionally Intelligent People:
(1). Emotionally intelligent people pay attention to what they are feeling.
(2). They understand how other people feel.
(3). They are able to regulate their emotions.
(4). They are motivated.
(5). They have great social skills.
(6). They are willing and able to discuss feelings with others.
(7). They are able to correctly identify the underlying causes of their emotions.
Low Emotional Quotient
Low emotional intelligence refers to the inability to accurately perceive emotions (in both yourself and others) and to use that information to guide your thinking and actions.
People with a low score on emotional intelligence may have a difficult time interpreting, understanding, and acting on emotions. They often have difficulty expressing their own emotions and feel uncomfortable around the emotional displays of other people. In some cases, those who score low may experience low self-esteem, poor self-confidence, and may have difficulty feeling empathy and showing love for others.
The important thing to remember is that even though you may feel that emotions are difficult to understand, there are things that you can do to improve your emotional intelligence. Once you recognize some of the key signs of low emotional intelligence, you can explore different ways to improve your emotional skills.
If you feel that you are low on emotional intelligence, try to actively identify your own emotions and the emotions of those around you. Taking a class to improve your communication skills can also be helpful.
Signs of Low EQ:
(1).They Always Have to Be 'Right'
(2).They're Oblivious to Other People's Feelings
(3).They Behave Insensitively
For the most part, people with low EQ don't know the right thing to say. They may also fail to comprehend appropriate versus inappropriate timing of saying things.
(4).They Blame Others for Their Problems
(5).They Have Poor Coping Skills
An inability to cope with emotionally-charged situations can be an indicator of low EQ. Strong emotions, whether their own or those of others, are difficult to comprehend for those with low emotional intelligence.
These individuals will often walk away from these situations to avoid having to deal with the emotional fallout. Hiding their true emotions is also very common.
(6).They Have Emotional Outbursts
The ability to regulate emotions is one of the components of emotional intelligence. People with low EQ often struggle to understand and control their emotions. They might lash out reactively without understanding what they are really feeling or why they are so upset.
A person who lacks EQ might also have unexpected emotional outbursts that seem overblown and uncontrollable. The smallest things set them off into a tirade that can last for minutes, even hours.
(7).They Struggle With Relationships
People with low EQ often have very few close friends. This is because close friendships require a mutual give-and-take, sharing of emotions, compassion, and emotional support, all characteristics low-EQ individuals typically lack. Instead, people with low EQ often come off as abrasive and unfeeling.
(8).They Turn Conversations Toward Themselves
Emotionally unintelligent people tend to dominate the conversation. Even if they are asking questions and appear to be listening intently, they always find a way to shift everything back to them. Usually, they have to prove that whatever you're experiencing, they've had it better or worse.
No matter what you say, they've been there, done that. You've been in a car accident? They have too...and their dog died. Going to climb Mount Kilimanjaro? They climbed Mount Everest four years ago. They can send you a list of tips if you want!
Average Emotional Quotient
People with an average score on emotional intelligence tend to be pretty good at interpreting, understanding, and acting upon emotions. They are usually quite good at dealing with social or emotional conflicts, expressing their feelings, and dealing with emotional situations.
While you have some solid emotional skills, sometimes you might find yourself feeling overwhelmed by conflict or emotionally charged situations. Even though you are about average at interpreting and controlling your emotions, it may help to learn a bit more about the characteristics of emotionally intelligent peo
